Don't Play With Fire, Unless You Can Handle Getting Burned

Yeah, well today has been somewhat okay so far.  Classes mostly, interspersed with CS programming./  Other than that though I'm jsut trying to keep myself busy at the moment.  I had a few bombshells dropped on me yesterday.  I really really need a metaphorical shoulder to lean on at the moment.  But life seems to be preventing me from being able to do that.  I don't really want to get into it too mcuh right now, especially seeing as how I really don't want to think about things.  I'll just keep myself oppresively busy so that I don't have any free time to think about things.  To a few friends of mine:  I was always there when you needed someone, for anything, now, where are you when I need help???  I'm out like a light, no more thinking, just hw hw hw............

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 31, 2004 14:49 | link | comments (1)

Well, today sucked, tonite wasn't too bad though.  Well with the exception of a few things.  Which then turned my night bad.  So we'll hope that tmrw is a better day.  Ever get that feeling that you're there for someone, and that when you need them to be there for you, they won't be.  That's just the start.  Anyways, I'm going to try and get my sleep-deprived self to sleep, so I'll write later tmrw. H'night

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 31, 2004 01:56 | link | comments (1)

Well, all of the exmas are done for now.  The only thing left is the CS project.  Which I am *trying* to get done by thursday for 10 points extra credit.  We'll see what happens.  Hopefully that all get's done.  Although I never know how long that stuff is actually going to take.  Anywho, it's apporaching sleepytime, so I'll write more tmrw.  Later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 29, 2004 22:49 | link | comments

Well, I was going to post last night, but for some reason I kept getting a 404 error when IW as trying to access motime.  Anywho, I'm tired, and I really should have started on myu S project like a week ago, but I'm procrastinating, oh well.  I suppose that it will just be an all day coding fest.  Well, it's off to class for another exam.  We'll see how I do.  Later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 29, 2004 09:17 | link | comments (1)

I'm standing on the edge of a knife, I'm not sure which way I'm going to fall, but either side is bad.  Either I'm going to lose it and have a nervous breakdown, or someone is about to soon feel my true and unadulterated wrath.  I really really really, hurt, and seeing other people do these things is tearing at my soul.  I'm about to lose it, and you know what, I dont' even care anymore.  Nevermore will I let the wicked hnd of love touch my heart, I suppose I'll just keep it all inside from now on.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 27, 2004 17:55 | link | comments (1)

oh boy, I've had a little too much free time to think today.  Although this is the first day I've had ANY free time in the past few weeks, I kinda let my mind wander to things I really didn't wanna think about.  I'm not really gonna get into what.  I'm just hoping that I will be able to distract myself later.  oh well, this weekend should hopeuflly not be absolute hell, but we'll see how it goes, I've got a bunch of physics and matrix algebra left to do, and an exam in that class on Monday or wednessday, I don't rememb er which.  I'll post more lata.  Adios

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 26, 2004 19:32 | link | comments

well, today is now officially over, and it's bed time.  I'll post more later, the physics exam went okay...  need sleep, later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 26, 2004 01:40 | link | comments (1)

Today = Day of hell.  The super evil physics exam is in 2 hours, and we shall see whether my 40 hours of studying in the past 4 days will pay off.  Oh well, wish me luck.  Other than that I've gotta go do some last minute studying for the exam.  Later everyone

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 25, 2004 05:52 | link | comments

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  right.........  I'm right now going through one of my bursts of actually posessing any energy whatsoever.  I got a grand total of 1.5 hours of sleep last night, bringing my total for th eweek up to somewhere around 10 hours since since Saturday.  Yeah, this mitomycin stuff really really sucks, anyone who deosn't believe me should go look this crazy medicine up. It's insane, anywho, I'm trying to figure out how to get tis physic's lab done while at the same time study for all of the crap I have to do for CS, and help a few friends out with stuff.  This is really taking everything I have, and some of what I don't.  Hence why I have been kind of sporadic in the posting department.  Anyways, I have to go talk to my physics professor about the exam, then talk with my academic advisor, then tlk with my physics lab professor about this week's write-up..  Then studying like a crazy fool again.  As if 14 hours of studying in the past two days wasn't enough already.  Later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 24, 2004 12:30 | link | comments (2)

Yeah, so I had the poem up like I promised.  I'm working on getting a few more together, but that's not gonna be for a while.  I'm noticing that a lot of people are just really annoying me lately.  I don't like it when people try to tell me how I should act or what they think I should be like, I kinda resent that.  Anyways, I probably shouldn't go into it at length, but all I really want to say is, I am my own person, and noone should try to tell me how they think I should act.  Besides that, I haven't been doing too much, just a lot of hw, and preparing for the massive exams that I have this week.  Anywho, I'm out, leave a comment. 

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 22, 2004 09:49 | link | comments

Well, I just got back from watching a movie with my friends.  Definetly a high recommendation for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind it was really really deep.  I liked it a lot.  Anywho, I'm going to try and get some shut-eye, seeing as how I've gotten about 15 hours of sleep in the past week.  I'll post a poem tmrw, cuz I should be pretty free most of the day.

later

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 20, 2004 23:26 | link | comments

Wow, tonite was amazing.............  I am in the happiest mood I've been in since well..... yeah...... 
Mason: 66
Austin Peay: 60

OH YEAH!!!  The game was absolutely amazing.  I'll post some more tmrw, as for now, I'm gonna try to grab a little bit of rest, tmrw is Tom, Justin, and JD chill time.
Poetry to be posted soon: I promise

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 20, 2004 01:10 | link | comments

Wow, tonite is the best mood I've been in for a while.  The game was absolutely amazing, we beat University of Tenessee 57-54 and it came down to a last second defensive stand, with a three point shot that bounced off th rim twice.  It was grreat, and the game defeinetly put me in a great mood for the moment.  Anywho, I'm still alive, and writing, there should be something in reagrds to poetry or such in the next few days or do,  Any yes, it really really does suck to only be able to type with one hand.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 17, 2004 21:04 | link | comments

i totally split my finger open today at the gym, it sucked,.  "cuz now I have to type with a big badange on my left pointer finger.  Anywho, the prblems with sleepinghave continued.  I have finally come to the conclusion that theonly place I get sleepy is when I'm sitting in class.  Which sucks, cuz I need topay attention to my class.  Well, I'm gonna go for now.  I have some hw to do, and the I'm off to my Physics Recitation.  Lata

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 16, 2004 10:32 | link | comments (1)

RAR!!!!!!!  Out on the prowl.  I'm taking some Xanax so I can go to sleep.  It's really bad when things get to you so deeply, that the only way to survive is to take drugs to make you not think about it.  Oh well, at least my parents are off of my back since my psychiatrist called them up and told them to lay off.  I'm not really gonna get into detail right now, 'cuz I don't really want to talk about it at the moment (translation: I'm way too tired to type out everything)  Well, g'night

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 15, 2004 23:16 | link | comments

Well, I'm going to bed.  'twas a good spring break, although I wish it could have lasted longer.  Anyways, I don't really know what to post anymore, since it doesn't seem to be attracting any comments.  I thought about posting something substantial, but seeing as how noone seems to be that interested I'l wait until I have some more free time.  Also, I'm really get into this DVD series with Jas, We watched like two dvd's and we are so totally hooked now, the show is great.  Other than that I have to go back to school tmrw, even though I really don't want to.  School needs to end so that I can have some time to myself, even over this break I didn't really have that much time for just me.  sigh.....  Oh well, maybe I'll actually get some later.  As for now, I'm going to bed I have class in lesst that 12 hours

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 14, 2004 23:52 | link | comments

Anywho, today was a lot of moving stuff around.  I got back from Ohio, so it's good to be home.  I found out some interesting things while I was there.  Oh well, I guess I'll post more about it later, right now I'm kinda tired, and I'm thinkin g about going to take a nap.  Anyways, I'm gonna go sleep now,. but I'll post a poem or something like that later.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 13, 2004 14:47 | link | comments

Okay, I give up.  Bunches of peoploe are reading but noone is leaving any comments..........  What's up with that???  Anywho.  I've got about a trillion thinngs to do today, and they only gave me  few minutes to do them, so I'm gonna get back to work.  Otherwise I'll be more tired than I already am when I get home

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 11, 2004 13:32 | link | comments

So I got to bed around 430 in the morning again, and I had to wake up early, it was most definetly again not cool.  Any who, I'm really tired today, and I might actually be able to get some sleep tonight.  Other than that I've just kinda been bummin' around trying to stay busy, in between events and appointments and such.  Well, I'm gonna wrtie another post later, seeing as how it's spring break and I have a unch of time.  But for now I've gotta book.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 10, 2004 16:08 | link | comments

Well, I'm sitting aroundin my hotel room right now. The one thing I remered liking about Ohio was this hotel chain that gives its clients free hi-speed internet acess. Well, I now have dr.s to see as soon as I get back to. It sucks. Last night I didn't get to bed until 6am it was most definetly not cool. Eventually around 3am, I eventually tooka a large dose of Xanax (tranquilizer), Tizanidine (Muscle relaxer) , and Zolpidem (Prescription Sleep Aid), along with some pain medicine. Would you believe that I still couldn't sleep after that????? I couldn't...... It sucked most definetly. Anywho, I drove by Ohio State University today, see a few doctor's and etc etc. Well, Everyone has been reading but only one person has left a comment, what'sw up with that? I was just wondering who was still reading this.

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 09, 2004 21:09 | link | comments

Well, I leave for Ohio tmrw, yay!!!! Well Kinda.....  I will definetly enjoy being there with my dad and watching hockey.  However, there is a second reason that I'm going, I don't really want to get into it but, if anyone remembers what I did for Spring Break last year, it involves the same medical type thingy,   Anywho, I'm not sure when I'm gonna have a chance to post, becuz when I'm not at the hockey games or with my dad I'll be in and out of le h'ospital.  Anywho, I'll see everyone when I Get back.  Wish me luck....

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 08, 2004 19:27 | link | comments (1)

WEll, I' am now officially done with school for the next week,  That nasty nasty Computer Science project was finished at 9:30 pm last night.  I finished writing my project write-up this morning so I am completely and totall in Spring Break mode now.  Mwhahahahahah.  YAY!!!!!! Anywho, I had a very interesting converation last night,with someone, a friend of a friend of mine.  It's just nice to know that not all people suck sometimes.  And that there are people out there who understand me.  It's a comforting thought.  Anyways, it really sucks to have a sinus infection and a blood infection at the same time, I'm so tired and the anti-biotics make my somahc hurt.     I'm going to spend the rest of the day curled up in a little ball on my couch, or one of my recliner's huddling under some blankets, now that I've finally got everything done, it will be the first time in forever that I've had a chance to relax.  Maybe the coming spring break will actually allow me to get one regular niht of sleep.  I haven't been able to sleep a full night since Mid-November, every time I got to bed I'm followed by horrible horrible dreams.  Dreams of things that could have come to pass, and the I wake up and realize that it was all just a dream and get really sad.  You'd think I'd have realized that they were dreams by now, but the heart has this way of completely overwhelming logical thought (Boy Do I know That!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  Anyways, I'm gonna listen to some Linkin Park, then recline, watch some tv, and plunge into some snack food.  Later amigos

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 07, 2004 14:03 | link | comments

Hmmmmmm..........  Something fishy is going on.  And I don't think I like it.  Oh well, I just want to let everyone know, that I'm not dead, I'm still surviving, although I think my still unfinished Computer Science project might have something to say to the contrary.  Anywho, I'm a little pissed at the moment, 'cu I kinda changed up a bunch of plans for someone and then everything got canceled, and I can;t set up new plans now.  Grrrrrrrr.....  Oh well, I'm not too angry about it, I would like to know why, but I'm really trying not to let it get to me.  Well, I might post a little something later.  But as for now, I'm going to leave with a poem.

Internal Ruin

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 04, 2004 21:42 | link | comments

Well, today has been a very nasty day.  I only got about 4 hours of sleep due to my Computer Science project, and I'm caught in multiple internal and external strife.  I'm not going to get into it right now, I will later.  I have one thing to say for the moment though and this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, rather several people.  "When you bite the hand that feeds you, you better not complain when you get bit back"  As I said, jsut something to think about.  Anywho, I've got another 20 page paper to write before tmrw, so I better get crackin'.  Later y'all

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 03, 2004 12:51 | link | comments

CS is evil, I've spent 6 hours so far programming today, and I'll probably spend the entire night with no sleep working on this.  And Probably still not finish.  Man I'm already tired, I hope I can make it

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 02, 2004 20:53 | link | comments

hehehe, I'm in a really good mood, but I shouldn't be.  People are pissed at me about things I don't have any control over, and to top it off they're trying to make me feel guilty about it.  SO I'm jsut not gonna let it bpother me.  (no this logic does not apply when your a lying piece of crap, you know who you are)  Anyways, I've got some CS to program, and then some sleep to get, and amybe a phone call or two.  So life after the book should hopefully continue on as normal.  I'm gonna try to get a poem up relatively soon, although with this huge project I can't make any promises.  Okay, later everyone

Posted by: hitokiriyuki at March 01, 2004 20:38 | link | comments (1)